I missed yesterday because I was still pondering what had happened on Tuesday. I made a commitment to you to help you get through this, and I couldn’t believe the positive feelings that were overwhelming my heart when I got committed to this cause, to God’s calling for me. I would love to help more than 1 person or family but I know that God blessed me with the experience so That I could be His Hands in guiding others onto the path that God wants them to be on. God wants you to know how much He loves you, How excited He is for you to have this experience and learn and grow from it. God trusted you as a mother and a person to bring a child into this world to rear it in love and service. I know these are difficult concepts when you feel so awful, when it’s hard to get up in the morning and feed yourself. I wanted to take care of the baby and love it and play with such an amazing being but I could not stop feeling so bad. I honestly think that there were different factors to each recovery of mine but there were always 2 constants; God and my husband. Even though I felt like God was punishing me, I heard over and over again, that God loved me and trusted me to be a mom (through priesthood blessings). The other constant, my husband, has been amazing; he seemed to radiate love for me when he washed the dishes, took the babies, cooked food for us and gave me massages and spend intimate time with me. Even though I’m sure he felt like he was sometimes drowning, he gave me the best gift I could have asked for; willingness.
He was willing to take me to the Doctor, He was willing to so many other things, that to the outsider, might have seemed like he was spoiling me but I know it helped me to know that he was on my side and wanted me to get better.
It was my husband’s willing efforts to help me feel better that made me try to get better. I only wanted to be around him because I felt safe and accepted, despite my overwhelming physical blemish (I thought) of PPD.
His acceptance later gave me the strength to support him in his addiction recovery.
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PPD;sleep hygiene, hormone fluctuation, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, new dads, postpartum momma, depression, baby blues, inadequacy